It was a very happy surprise to see that my cousin Andrew is one of the housemates on Australian Big Brother this year! Anyone who knows will be aware I am a complete and utter media whore who will milk this for all it's worth! And if you were watching Monday night's episode, you will know now that Andrew's girlfriend Hayley is also in the house (they are the secret couple) and that Mr X is Billy, Hayley's ex, who has come in to stir up trouble... and no one in the house including Andrew, knows about it!




So to help me in my quest for global media stardom, I need you to help them! If the chance to vote Billy out is up for grabs, DO IT, and if either Andrew or Hayley is up for eviction, SAVE THEM!!!!!

Lost in Transit 4: Mind Over Matter

Perth. Home to Eagles, black swans, Rove, Pat Mullins, Kim Beazley and for a short time, Daniel Watson.

I rocked up at 12.30am on Saturday morning, in desperate need of many things, not the least of which was horizontal sleep. Almost no-one was at at the terminal after the passengers went home, I had my suitcase with a change of clothes and I had four thinly padded metal armchairs to relax on - BLISS!

At 3am I checked in for the 6am direct to Dubai, and told to wait until 5am to see if there would be space for me on the flight.

There wasn't.

I cried... well almost. How could this stupid story drag out any longer? I was doing my level best to not scream at somebody. I just wanted to go home. After some consideration I decided $200 was too much to spend on accommodation for the day and that I would remain at the airport to try my luck on the 10.30pm, yes PM, flight.

In surprisingly good spirits at 6am, and even more surprising at 9.30pm!

Think of a time where you have been bored beyond all belief and multiply that by alot. Look at your watch every 3 minutes for 22 hours. Read half a big novel, read 35 magazines, eat 6 meals, watch 18 planes take off.... look at your watch again. That was my day. It was a serious mental marathon that required all of my inner sensibility to not go crazy. If I didn't get on that night flight I was going to have myself committed.

As the day drew on with no sleep, my body started to shut down. My muscles ached, my hands were twitching, and the airport was slowly filling with people ready to go to Dubai. I HAD to be one of them!

It was a lady named Jen who told me the good news around 7.30.... even if everyone shows up for the flight, there will be one spare seat for me! I was so happy I went to the bar and downed a few pints in the true spirit of said happiness hoping it wasn't all a bt premature.

Well in the end, I discovered that some days it pays to be gay. The airport manager Tod, got me on to the flight with the one and only extra spare seat right next to me. When you're 6 foot 6, words can't describe the true value of an extra seat next to you when you're stuck in economy!

Finally, after 5 nights and 4 days traversing two countries, Daniel was going home to Dubai.

Then we landed.

Emirates lost my bag.....

(to be continued...)

Lost in Transit 3: The Long Road Home

As they say in accounting and plumbing circles: another day, another 24 hours. Singapore WAS one of my favourite cities; now I'm really, really over it. Last night I failed once again to get on an Emirates flight to Dubai and found myself back at Hotel 81. Pulling my hair out at 4am I headed for an internet cafe to research full fare flights on other airlines. All I can say is THANKYOU QANTAS!!!! I have never felt any true emotion for our national carrier until this morning. They are getting me to Perth tonight for only $300 which is more or less a miracle! From there it's (hopefully) only a 6 hour wait til the first Emirates flight of the day, and then in 11-12 hours I should be in my apartment. Sounds too easy, so chances are it won't be... but Schapelle Corby wasn't released from prison because she was negative! Oh, that's right... :(


Raffles Square during the day - I thought I'd take the chance to see some sights, and outside the internet cafe at 5 in the morning after booking my ticket to Perth. Deserted!

Lost in Transit 2: Still Friggin' Lost!

Well it goes from bad to worse to awful to not-so-bad!

At 2am this morning (Thursday - that's 10pm Wed in Dubai, 4am Thurs in Australia) the lovely Ming Hu Wa informs Craig that he has the last seat on the last Emirates flight out of Singas. Daniel hyperventilates. Daniel is getting rather deliriously tired and frustrated and is wearing very old, smelly clothes. Where are Daniel's fresh-ish clothes? In his suitcase in the arrivals hall since Tuesday. So off Daniel goes to change his clothes after being informed that he will be able to return to the transit area immediately.

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!

(Returning to first person, this is too tricky)

I quickly enquired on a hotel room while I was outside the confines of the transit desk only to be told that your average room goes for around $400 a night. Nice. I was not that desperate.... YET! After attempting to blackmail every last official in Changi I soon discovered that I was about to spend at least TWENTY hours waiting at the check-in counter. No bed, no edible food, no peace, no sanity. In comparison the transit area had beds, internet, X-Box 360 and shopping! I was praying for strength and holding back the tears trying to remember everyone in prisons around the world and how they were slightly worse off than I was.

When I knew sane people in Australia would be awake, I texted Mum my story of stupidity and frustration and she was right on to Wotif.com to score me the cheapest hotel room in town. Mum, you did good - as Helen Mirren said in Battlestar Galactica.



I am writing this from an internet cafe in Bugis Junction surrounded by about 200 Singaporean teenagers playing World of Warcraft against each other in deafening surround sound, but it sure beats shacking up with my fellow poverty stricken travellers on plastic seats at the airport! Will of course be back at the airport tonight trying to get on a flight home and we will see where we go from there!

Until next time!

Lost in Transit :(

Hello all,

Greetings from Singapore's Changi International Airport where I have now been stuck for almost 24 hours! Ever watched Tom Hanks in 'The Terminal'? Well it's not much different! The flight from Singapore to Dubai (the 2nd leg of the flight I began in Brisbane on Tuesday night) was completely overbooked, and since there were already 14 people on waitlist there was NO hope for me! I was was flying with my friends Leah and Craig and thank God for them or I would have given in to the madness by now! Leah was lucky enough to get on to the Dubai leg as she was on an annual leave ticket, but no so Craig and myself. We checked into the glorious Ambassador Transit Hotel (it's like 3, yes, 3 stars!) and had some much needed sleep. In between we have looked in every shop 5 times, been to Burger King, Subway, Chinese and very soon the bar via the chocolate shop... I searched high and low for a tv playing American Idol which I was informed by Lucy Liu at the transfer desk would be on at 10pm. With less than one minute to go and after a frantic search through terminals one AND two, I found a giant plasma with my name on the seat and was very, very content! Anyway that brings me to now... typing furiously to get this done within my allocated 15 free minutes. Next flight leaves at 2.30am, then 3.30am then 12.30am THE NEXT DAY!!!! We had better get on or I will really lose it!



Stay tuned for more!

Livin' la vida loca!

The last week or so has been a busy one for young Daniel. Besides his Lagos and Colombo flights, he has operated the all-night Mumbai twice in three days, and been up to pussy's bow in duty-free sales! Now to relieve the stress that comes from being a young, modern professional in this here busy world, Daniel has been out alot of late. Normally his nights out are not for blog consumption, but here we have a small highlights package of the last few....

NIGHT ONE: SHO CHO'S at Dubai Marine Beach Resort. The players: Daniel, Nicole and Julian with support from Chantal and Cristina


Jules owns the show - with Cristina, Nicole and Chantal.... then the rest are combinations of the above with a bit of Dan thrown in the mix!


NIGHT TWO: ZINC at Crowne Plaza on Sheikh Zayed Rd. The players: Daniel and Franck with support from Fiona


Let it be said now: Fishbowls should be banned. either that or made the national beverage. A highly potent cocktail of 5 or 6 alcohols, red bull, lemon juice and blue stuff that sends you spinning in minutes. Enough juice for 3 to 4 people at a time. If you like to share your drinks and share your hangover, get a fishbowl into you NOW!


NIGHT THREE: HARRY GHATTOS at Emirates Towers. The players: Daniel, Nicole and Marcos with support from Diego, Jeremy and Zed (fare)

I walked in with the intention of having a quick beverage with my friends before departing to Brisbane. I thought we'd have a bit of a laugh at the wannabes singing the regular karaoke standards. I thought I'd be home by 12.


Let it be said, Diego kicks my karaoke ass!


By 1.30 I had polished off four vodka/bitter lemons, and subjected the bar to average-at-best renditions of World Of Our Own, She Bangs, A Whole New World and You Raise Me Up. It's now 5am and I'm writing this, less than an hour from leaving for the airport to fly to Brisbane. Someone shoot me now!

Like the rhythm, Colombo is gonna get you!

My Nigerian expedition was quickly followed by a journey, a sojourn if you will, to the capital of Sri Lanka. Wild horses slash Tamil Tigers couldn't stop me! Was my first flight operating officially in business class which was more fun than I had expected, and not quite as stressful. I have a LOT to master but the basics are getting there - though they said that about me in kindergarten and my parents are still hopeful! A relaxing stay in an overcooked country, highlighted by multiple episodes of Ugly Betty and Heroes, and a shopping trip to mingle with the locals. Think Myer Boxing Day sale and triple the people whilst halving the size of the store. That's Colombo shopping for you!

The highlight of the whole shebang was flying home in the cockpit via the beautiful Maldives. Take off and landing were simply phenomenal, as partially evidenced in the forthcoming photos....



Surviving the 'House of Fashions' MADNESS! Lucky I had my lovely Polish friend Mariane with me!

An Emirates Boeing 777-300 taking off in front of us in Colombo, probably headed for Jakarta or Singapore, and an aerial view of Colombo shortly after take-off.

What the inside of a VERy turbulent storm looks like from the cockpit... and our first view of the Maldives islands.

Coming into the capital Male (pronounced like Bali) - the tourists were NOT happy their holiday in the sun was to begin in a thunderstorm!

The islands still look beautiful at 20,000 feet in the rain.

In your best Mufasa from the Lion King voice: WELCOME TO NIGERIA!

Our first layover together! Our final flight in economy! Oh, the milestones! Oh, the memories!

There is but one way to survive a flight to Lagos, Nigeria in the ass end of a Boeing 777 - with your friends slash other funny cabin crew! Apart from Nicole, we were lucky enough to be joined by fellow comedians Ammor, Catherina, Sabah (henceforth known as Sabs) and our batchmates from the very beginning, Cookie and Rio. That said the flight was pretty damn awful. Well I guess it depends on whether you would enjoy being hissed at, yelled at and pulled every which way to achieve miracles with 7Up, red wine and beer that Jesus himself would be impressed with! Maybe business class will be different, but for the time being, unless Nicole is glued to my hip at the very least, it's PRESS 2 (Emirates code for call sick) should another Lagos appear on the horizon...

In Lagos itself we are unable to leave the confines of the hotel for safety reasons so all the fun and games goes on by the pool, by the bar, wherever it can be mustered. Transport from the airport to the hotel is also interesting. A separate bus takes the luggage so if we are attacked by militia they can take our suitcases and run without pumping us with ammunition. Noice! We were also escorted by police which made me feel a bit like a celebrity except for the fact that it seemed no one outside could have cared less!

The onboard photos show happy, smiling, generally joyous people. Don't be too mistaken. We are a) only an hour or two from touch down in Dubai, hence coming to the end of a seven hour journey into hell and back, and b) we are more or less delirious from constant aformentioned miracle working, and have all switched on to 'do not give a flying .....' mode. That said it was quite fun to be all together. I did get a bit snap happy, so enjoy :D


The bag bus...and the crew bus: a tale of two buses. by Enid Blyton.

This one hopefully gives you an idea of how a 4-5 star hotel sits in the middle of abject poverty...

My paparazzi shot of Cat and Nic from across the pool, and in pic 2, Nicole enjoys the pretty blue pit of chlorine :)

Cat, Ammor Ammor, Nicole and Cap'n Dan

Oh the silliness! Oh the unprofessionalism!

Nicole is chirpy and posing like the model she is, everywhere she can. Daniel is happy to not be on homicide charges (how many plane loads of people does it take to become genocide?)

What else to do with 8 bored and tired crew hiding from the passengers in the tiny mid-galley?

Surviving a Mac tantrum...

My computer decided to have a LIndsay Lohan style meltdown last week and my photos are in a tangled mess, much like Britney's hair the day before she cut it all off... Anyway, the point of all this is I lost some of my graduation photos, but now they are found, ready to be viewed by the tens of people who read this every day!

Oh and how about Kath and Kim back on Channel 7 - good or bad? The jury is still out here...

Just got back from a very fun but very tiring trip to Lagos in Nigeria. Photos up very soon, just got to wake up first!




The 306 boys all together in a photo for the first time! Franck on the left, Jason on the right

With Dache and also Cristina, enjoying our big day! Sionara economy!