There is but one way to survive a flight to Lagos, Nigeria in the ass end of a Boeing 777 - with your friends slash other funny cabin crew! Apart from Nicole, we were lucky enough to be joined by fellow comedians Ammor, Catherina, Sabah (henceforth known as Sabs) and our batchmates from the very beginning, Cookie and Rio. That said the flight was pretty damn awful. Well I guess it depends on whether you would enjoy being hissed at, yelled at and pulled every which way to achieve miracles with 7Up, red wine and beer that Jesus himself would be impressed with! Maybe business class will be different, but for the time being, unless Nicole is glued to my hip at the very least, it's PRESS 2 (Emirates code for call sick) should another Lagos appear on the horizon...
In Lagos itself we are unable to leave the confines of the hotel for safety reasons so all the fun and games goes on by the pool, by the bar, wherever it can be mustered. Transport from the airport to the hotel is also interesting. A separate bus takes the luggage so if we are attacked by militia they can take our suitcases and run without pumping us with ammunition. Noice! We were also escorted by police which made me feel a bit like a celebrity except for the fact that it seemed no one outside could have cared less!
The onboard photos show happy, smiling, generally joyous people. Don't be too mistaken. We are a) only an hour or two from touch down in Dubai, hence coming to the end of a seven hour journey into hell and back, and b) we are more or less delirious from constant aformentioned miracle working, and have all switched on to 'do not give a flying .....' mode. That said it was quite fun to be all together. I did get a bit snap happy, so enjoy :D
The bag bus...and the crew bus: a tale of two buses. by Enid Blyton.
This one hopefully gives you an idea of how a 4-5 star hotel sits in the middle of abject poverty...
My paparazzi shot of Cat and Nic from across the pool, and in pic 2, Nicole enjoys the pretty blue pit of chlorine :)
Cat, Ammor Ammor, Nicole and Cap'n Dan
Oh the silliness! Oh the unprofessionalism!
Nicole is chirpy and posing like the model she is, everywhere she can. Daniel is happy to not be on homicide charges (how many plane loads of people does it take to become genocide?)
What else to do with 8 bored and tired crew hiding from the passengers in the tiny mid-galley?
1 comment:
You'll all be able to audition for 'Thank God your Here" when you finish your stint with Emirates.
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